My first home represented freedom: freedom from fear, freedom from economic slavery, and freedom from abuse.

The road to my first home was dark, thorny and scary. I had been married two years to a husband that punched and kicked, our finances were always hairy because of his terribly poor judgement, and I lived with a sick stomach due to stress. I finally left when a friend who owned real estate lent me an apartment for two weeks so I could get on my feet.

I immediately went to work as a stripper.

I was literally starving and bought bread and bologna with my first night’s tips. I will never forget it, because that is when I decided I would never be financially insecure again. I came up with an envelope system, which was easy to do since I was always paid in cash. One for rent, one for utilities, one to pay off charge bills, one to give to charities, and one for saving for a home. Every night I put a portion, such as 25 percent for rent, 10 percent for utilities, 10 percent for charity, and so and so forth, in the marked envelopes.

I watched my pile of money grow larger in the house envelope, watched my debt shrink in the charge bills envelope and felt my confidence rising proportionally. It was a great way to beat down the total lack of security I had felt in the relationship with my husband. It was important to me to get out of debt before purchasing my first home.

The interest rates were adjustable and threatening to skyrocket any day. Debt took away from the focus of financial freedom I had began to cultivate.

Debt dragged me down.

When I was finally able to purchase my first home, I was 100 percent debt free. Then that allowed me to focus on paying the balance of the house loan off in 10 years, which in turn allowed me to purchase the coolest property yet- a towering old brick factory fabric mill over one hundred years old. The best part about owning your own property is the knowledge you’ve invested in your future.

For a female once filled with fear and dread, I have hope because I’ve consciously made the decisions to put my money somewhere wise. Purchasing my own home all by myself, without needing any help from others, was just the confidence boost this girl needed.